Dr. Charles Chaney / Source: Psych Central

The late Norman Cousins gave us a famous aphorism: “Belief creates biology.”

Life is belief in action. The mind directs the body. Tibetan Monks can slow their heart rates using the power of their minds. Marathon runners break records every decade because they believe they can shave off more time, every time.

If you believe it can be, it already is.

Beliefs have tremendous impact on our lives, especially those that hit us frequently with emotional force. Mental and emotional well-being depend on the level of esteem we put in our social circle including family and friends, the level of esteem we have for the self, and the level of esteem we have for what we do on a daily basis.

Beliefs can be channeled towards our own well-being. I want to take a moment to encourage you to pursue what I call the Four Pillars of Purpose:

• Finding esteem
• Creating challenge
• Inspiring others
• Discovering creativity

“I have purpose when I am creative, have a sense of esteem, can grow, and inspire others.”

1. Finding Esteem

Esteem is the wings of the gods. The power that lifts you above the ground shapes who you are as a person. Self esteem comes from surviving hardship, fighting for a goal, learning from failures, and achieving some element of success.

Only when you begin to respect yourself can you begin to build self-esteem.

Now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But now. Take a pen and write down times that you survived hardship, or fought for a goal, or failed and picked yourself back up.

If you draw a blank at first that’s fine. Force yourself to write something down and come up with at least five examples. Next, circle two or three that you believe are the most salient in your life.

2. Creating Challenges

Without a wall, you will never know how to climb. Without challenge, you can never grow. If you have a job that creates healthy challenge for you then your are in an enviable position. Through challenge you can grow.

If your job does not challenge you, then consider shifting roles in the company. Or, if that’s not possible, consider starting a hobby that will allow you to grow and develop skills. You need a sense of growth to feel human.

3. Inspiring Others

A crucial step in living a purposeful life is giving purpose to others. By bringing purpose to someone else, you unlock a chain reaction of fulfillment that spreads like a fire.

Your inspiration gives the next person encouragement which causes the next person to find inspiration, and so forth.

You can inspire someone with words, or through example. Don’t be afraid to share with others what you find remarkable in life.

4. Discovering Creativity

Some believe that being creative is the highest form of living. Look around us. Nature is creating all the time. Creation gives meaning and biology.

If you want more purpose in your life, start creating on a regular basis. Write, play music, paint, draw, build arts and crafts, shoot a short film, plant a garden, start a small business.

Put aside TV time at home for creative time. Soon you will discover a whole new side that inspires you.

Remember, your reality is your belief system. Learn to control your beliefs to create Esteem, Challenge, Inspiration, and Creativity. These Four Pillars of Purpose will stand long after the Acropolis of Athens.

The positive side of belief – the ability to make change – is within your reach.

By: John D. Moore / Source: Psych Central

Are you facing your first holiday season in a place of grief and despair? Did someone close to you die this past year, causing you to feel overwhelming sadness? Do you find yourself faking a smile when others attempt to spread Yuletide cheer?

If you can relate, it is important to recognize you are not alone. The truth is that for many people, “Christmas” can be a brutally painful time of year – particularly if you are coping with the loss of someone like a parent, child, sibling or other loved one.

The intensity of what you are feeling right now speaks directly to the enormity of of the moment. You are in a fragile place to be sure.

Now, as in this very second in time, I want you to take a deep breath. Clear your mind of everything that has happened on this day and purge yourself of all thoughts. Take another breath and use the power of mindfulness to bring focus to your immediate surroundings.

In doing this, my hope is to momentarily suspend your heart’s heavy burden so that you can more fully absorb what follows. When you are emotionally able, feel free to proceed.

5 Ways to Remember Someone You Have Lost This Christmas

1. Use their name

Many who have lost someone close are reluctant to speak their name during the holidays in fear of causing others discomfort. If you are one of these people, you do yourself and the person you loved a dishonor by not remembering them verbally.

Healing cannot take place if we deny a person’s existence. Invoke the name of your loved and speak from the place they now live – in your heart.

2. Allow others to comfort you

Grieving is a uniquely intimate experience. It is also a necessary part of healing. If you bottle up all that you are feeling and push away those who care for you, you deny yourself and others powerful moments of healing.

It’s OK to not want to talk but let others be with you at this time. There can be restoration in the silence.

3. Laugh and Cry

You may feel that it is disrespectful to laugh right now, particularly if a memory pops up about the person you have lost that makes you smile. Please clear your mind of this belief.

A basic universal truth about grief is simply this – without laughter, we would have only tears.

Crying by the way is OK too right now. Tears are a natural byproduct of your sadness. Let them fall from your eyes cathartically. Allow others to lovingly wipe them from your face.

4. Create a memory chain

If you celebrate Christmas and want to remember someone who has passed, a very meaningful and loving thing to do is to create a memory chain. All you have to do is take some construction paper and cut out little bands about 12-inches long.

After you cut them up, lay the strips on the floor. Then you, your children, friends and extended family members can write down cherished memories about the person who has died.

Tape or staple the bands together and wrap the chain around the Christmas tree.

You can also make a wreath for a doorway or simply hang it up on a wall. From time to time, when it feels right, read the messages and feel whatever comes up.

5. Decline what feels right but don’t isolate

You have every right to decline invitations to various holiday events at this time. It’s not easy being around others who are in a happy place while you are feeling such immense loss. You are not obliged to do anything.

With that shared, don’t fall into the trap of emotionally locking yourself up and isolating. Doing so may only make you feel worse. Instead, surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you. If others are grieving over the same loss, be with them.

Final Thoughts: Christmas and Loss

Facing your first Christmas and by extension, New Year, in the absence of someone you dearly loved is one of the most difficult things you will ever endure.

There is no way I or anyone else can use a bunch of flowery language to magically take away your pain. More than anything right now, compassion for yourself is the order of the day.

They say that when we love deeply – we hurt deeply. It is in the hurting that we find the healing.

I hope the gift of healing visits your heart this holiday season.

By: Nanice Ellis / Source: Wake Up World

In my recent article Living The Grand Dream, I wrote about how we each possess a key for personal transformation in the dreams that we hold, and when we begin to listen to those dreams, transformation begins to unfold.

Well what if I told you that all that separates you from your dream are five simple keys?

When each of these essential keys are activated, you invoke the power of the Universe on your behalf and the whole world conspires with you – to make your dream a reality.

As a life coach who specializes in dream manifestation, this is what I have learned, in over 20 years, working with thousands of people all over the world…

Dream Realization – Manifesting Your Grand Dream

1 – What is Your Dream?

The first step in realizing your dream is to clearly identify it, and understand why this dream is important to you. Sometimes we have a dream because we believe that in the attainment of that dream, we will acquire something that we desire, like money, status or fame.

If you are only pursuing a dream in order to acquire a result, the dream is probably not authentic.

Authentic dreams are pursued and fulfilled for the love of the dream itself and not for any self-serving result.

This doesn’t mean that in fulfilling your dream there won’t be positive results for you – there actually should be great rewards for you, but the rewards will be a by-product, rather than the goal.

If you are pursuing a dream because you believe that it will please your mother, for example, or it will bring you approval by others, it might be a good idea to re-examine your dream.

If your dream is based on something that you believe that you “should” do or if it is motivated by obligation, you might want to pause to question your dream as well.

If you discover that your dream is based on inauthentic motivation, don’t be afraid to let go of your dream so that there is space for your authentic dream to appear and make itself known to you.

After you strip away the inauthentic, you might discover that you still have the same dream; but without the external pressure and motivation, the dream now originates from sustainable inspiration.

Once you uncover your authentic dream, your first call to action is to simply dream about it through your imagination. Even if you only know a little piece of it, begin there and use your imagination to fill in the details.

Your imagination is an ingenious built-in technology for exploring possibilities, and it can grant you access into hidden worlds and glorious possible futures.

The use of imagination can save you time and energy, and can accelerate the manifestation of your dream. Your imagination can also demonstrate what you don’t want so that you can clarify what you do want.

The greatest inventors and creators of all times used their imagination before ever beginning any projects.

Your imaginative powers allow you to fine tune your dream by mentally exploring various possibilities until you discover a dream that fits for you. And, yes, there is a dream with your name on it!

2 – Beliefs: the Foundation of Your Dream

The realization of every dream begins with a thought in your imagination, but in order for a dream to materialize there needs to be a strong belief that supports the dream.

Keep in mind that every dream will have beliefs that support the dream and beliefs that stop the dream from materializing. It is in your highest interest to understand all the beliefs that you hold about your dream.

The key is to address the non-supportive beliefs and release them or shift them and to enhance the supportive beliefs.
Your beliefs are the source of your inner chatter and automatic affirmations, like, “I can do it” or “this is too much to handle.”

Every time you affirm that you can do something, a supportive belief inflates and you are elevated to a level of aligning with your dream. Every time you affirm that it is too much to handle, you mis-align with your dream.

Remember, beliefs are simply a series of thoughts that we believe. The simplest way to shift a belief is to DROP any and all thoughts that do not support your objective (dream).

When you drop these disempowering thoughts enough times, a threshold is met and the negative belief begins to lose power.

Hence, the more you affirm empowering beliefs through your conscious affirmations and intentional focus, the stronger those beliefs will become.

To manifest that which you desire, it is imperative to believe that it is already done. Sometimes we are very clear in our convictions and it is easy to believe our desires into reality, but other times, Fears, Objections and Doubt (aka FOD) arise and our ability to believe is less than stellar.

Fears

Big or small, most dreams bring up fears. Having fear in relation to your dream is natural and normal and is not an indication of whether or not, you can achieve your dream.

Having said this, take a good look at all your fears in relation to your dream. Many of the rational fears on your list might be addressed by gaining more information or making the right contacts; for example, getting funding or finding someone who can provide a particular service.

If this is the case, it is best to handle each concern accordingly without hesitating and making issues bigger than they are. Of course, there are irrational fears which are likely linked to deeper issues, such as lack of confidence or low self-esteem.

It would be nice to say, first gain the confidence and self-esteem and then get on with your dream, but that doesn’t really work.

The key to overcoming irrational fear is to consciously grow your dream and your desire for your dream larger than the fear.

If your desire is greater than your fear, nothing will stop you, and as you move toward your dream, and take action, you will naturally gain the confidence and esteem that you lacked pre-dream.

Fan the flames of your dream, and the fire will put out the fears.

Objections

Everyone who has ever had a dream has also had objections to pursuing or living that dream. Objections are all the reasons why we shouldn’t pursue our dream and why it is not possible.

If you push your objections underneath the carpet, they will eventually trip you, so it is best to deal with your objections head on. Sometimes just paying attention to your objections will allow them to dissolve on their own.

But, if you have a stubborn objection, chances are, there is an underlying belief that is manifesting in this objection. If this is the case, uncover that belief and deal with it directly.

For example, if one of your objections is that you need more education in order to fulfill your dream, pay attention to this objection. Is it really true or is it an excuse to put off your dream?

If you discover that you really do need more education in order to fulfill your dream, than move in that direction, but if you discover that your dream does not depend on future degrees, then let go of this objection, and move forward.

Doubt

Doubt is another form of fear and, although doubt, in itself, appears benign, doubt is like the apocalypse to a dream. Even a little doubt can take down the structure of your dream and reduce it to rubble.

If you decide to pursue your dream, there is no room for doubt. This means consciously choosing to ignore doubt whenever it rears its doubt-ridden little head.

Recognize the voice of doubt and take all its power away, by consciously choosing not to give it energy. If circumstances indicate that your dream is doubtful, don’t give in to the doubt.

Instead use those circumstances as opportunities to dream even bigger, beyond the barrier of doubt.

As you release and overcome non-supportive beliefs, it is vitally essential to develop and enhance positive, dream-affirming beliefs that will create a foundation for the building of your dream.

It is a good idea to spend time every day feeding your supportive beliefs, as well as surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and believe in your dream.

3 – Align with Your Dream

In order to materialize your dream, you must align with it. This means energetically becoming the future you who already has the dream.

When we say yes to a dream, life responds by saying yes in return, but if we are not a vibrational match to that dream, life also responds with challenges.

Challenges are intrinsically designed, in such a way, that as you overcome them, you naturally grow and evolve into the future you who is aligned with your dream.

In other words, challenges are opportunities for growth that support the realization of your dream.

Who are you now in comparison to who you must be in order to realize your dream? For example, if the person in your dream communicates masterfully, but you currently do not communicate well, life will present you with specific challenges.

In overcoming these challenges, your communication skills grow. The more you are aligned with your dream, the less challenges required to align you, so, it makes sense to consciously do whatever it takes to become a vibrational match to your dream.

When you think of yourself living your dream, who are you? What attributes, energy and qualities do you possess?

If you can determine the gaps or discrepancies between where you are and where you need to be, you can take conscious action in order to initiate the necessary growth.

In other words, instead of waiting for life to give you opportunities to grow into confidence, for example, you take the initiative and you put your attention and intention on gaining and achieving confidence.

Your dream can materialize in an exponential manner if you can now take on all aspects of who you will be in your dream. Your work is in becoming the future you who is already experiencing the dream.

4 – Commit to Your Dream

Your greatest power is the Power of Choice and this means that you must choose yourself for the starring role of your dream. Only you can do this and your dream depends on it.

It is equally important that you commit to your dream for however long it takes for your dream to materialize. There is something about this unconditional commitment that accelerates the amount of time in which it takes to realize your dream.

If you are willing to “give up” your dream if it does not happen in a certain period of time, the amount of time and effort required in attaining your dream increases.

Your dedicated commitment to your dream plugs you into the Universe in such a way that everything lines up with synchronicity and synergy. The Universe likes unconditional commitment.

Committing to your dream requires both intention and attention.

The intention is in the underlying emotional and energetic choice to fulfill your dream while the attention is the tangible manifestation of your intention, and it is demonstrated through your daily focus and inspired actions.

5 – Take Inspired Action

Once your dream is clear and you have chosen yourself for your dream, it is time to take inspired action. This is not just action for the sake of taking action or checking off the logical “to do” list.

This is action that comes through inspiration. Inspired action is personal guidance given to you by the greater part of you that already knows how the dream unfolds.

In order to receive this guidance, it is essential that you spend quiet time each day in contemplation of your dream and that you are receptive to any and all intuitive hits that may guide you in the right direction.

It might be calling an old friend, reading a book, going to a gathering, or asking someone for help. By following inspired guidance, the process to realizing your dream is accelerated by the creative power of the All-Knowing Universe.

Your Dream Grows

As you pursue your dream, don’t be surprised if your dream changes or grows. Sometimes we can only imagine the beginning stages of a dream but as we move into it and life unfolds, we are shown or called to an even bigger dream.

The point is, your dream is not stagnate. Your dream is meant to grow and you are meant to grow with your dream – and for your dream. Above all, Enjoy the Journey.

The Infinite Power of You

If you knew you possessed infinite and intrinsic power, right now, who would you be? What kind of life would you live?

Reclaiming your infinite power means discovering who you really are and having the courage to express the real you. Discovering your real powerful self is a prerequisite for experiencing freedom, peace, love, abundance and everything you have ever desired.

You are the answer to every question you have ever asked.